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Nov. 14th, 2008 @ 10:18 pm
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The demon inside me...the one I used to save my own life...to bring me back from the dead...I'm not sure how much longer my body will hold up against the decay it's causing. Nothing I do is helping...parts of me are breaking down way faster now than before.
But I wont let it go...it's far too evil. This...thing...it dies with me. That was our deal, after all...I could live again, and it could "die" when I was done.
Such a small price to pay... |
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At long last...
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Jul. 8th, 2008 @ 02:14 pm
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Homeownership. Been a long, hard few years of renting and staying with family. But we finally found a place. Closing went well, and we're currently moving in. Party to follow. lol
pics here
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v115/sarahlea1717/
gotta go. busy as hell |
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Poor Kitty
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May. 18th, 2008 @ 06:26 pm
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They killed that cougar...the Miltion, WI cougar. Poor kitty. Damned Illiniosian mutha fuckarz. Piece of wisconsin paranormal history...and they SHOT it.
FIBs |
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an update!
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Jan. 24th, 2008 @ 09:57 am
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Not to be outdone by my wife...lol
So...wisconsin...cold...packers lost...*shrugs*. I watched 4 packer games...they lost them ALL. Blame the last one on me, folks. heh
Paranormal news!! A Wild cougar was spotted yet again...in Milton, WI. Not that I doubt cougars exsist in wisconsin...hell, they always have! Wyoming has a hundred of them or so...and most residents go generations w/o ever seeing one...so if this state has two or three...go figure. DNR says no, but 100's of sightings a year cant be wrong. Now, they have footprints, a first-hand close encounter, fur, urine, and blood. Go suck on that, DNR.
Bigfoot...yet again! ONCE AGAIN, in my backyard!!! Some guy reported to the news yesterday about some large tracks...sure enough, these babies were 28 inches long, damned near 8 or 9 inches wide, and 4 feet apart. That'd put this....thing...around 7.5 to 8 feet tall! Ouch. No conclusive evidence...the cops wouldn't even folow the prints into the woods out here! But the whole thing happened like...not more than 1/2 mile from my house whoooohoo! What an awesome find...cool, anyway...heh...bigfoot. Either a large animal, a small animal making hune leaps...or someone with a twisted senser of humor and alot of time on their hands.
We're moving, well...now, really. My online time will dwindle to nearly nothing. *sigh* Oh well...time to make this happen! Housewarming party in spring...so ya'll better get with the program and free your calanders up for may, bitches! lol
Beyond that...I'm still madly in love with my wife (I say madly because she drives me fricken insane), still only got two kids (the twin boys will have to wait till 2011) and still got our dog...AND I still got my pride, dignity, and self-respect!! Eat my shit, sandy! Thats all I can say...nice try, but eat...my...shit. >:)Current Mood:  naughty |
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Jan. 2nd, 2008 @ 08:06 pm
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After reading a friends journal, it prompts me to write in my own...
My dreams, as of late, are becomming very odd to me. It seems certian dreams, are more than just dreams...I'm learing things I was never "really" taught, things I remember when I wake up, like with the sword...with auto-mechanics...with languages...How these things are possible are still a mystery to me. Granted...I KNOW how they're possible...I just wonder what it all means.
The other night, I dreamt I received a special gift from a legendary swordsmen himself...he was a quiet, serious old man, seemed almost annoyed at my presence, but I appealed to him through humility. And what he taught me.....wow.
These dreams...they're clearer and more realistic than ever...something...someone, is speaking to me. Why, I cannot say. But it leaves me with a sense of empowerment. I feel old wounds healing, I feel change comming...I'm MAKING change happen, even. And though I am very, very nervous...I am also confidant in myself.
The darkness in me....it's fading away...perhaps because I've starved it...but I feel more alive with each passing day now. I cannot wait for this month to be over...for this WEEK to be over. I sense a great opportunity awaits. |
| » Holidays....*pfft* |
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Merry christmas everyone!
And for those of you offended by christ in any way, shape, or form, being part of the word christmas on or around december 25th...well...a big christian f*ck you. Deal with it :P
Dec. 25th, 2007 @ 08:42 pm
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| » Just so you know... |
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I have been long reputed to being an egotistical, tactile, raving lunatic, and now, you have your proof!
I've been playing the elder scrolls series (video game, MMORPG) for some time, in my life...but one thing has remained constant...when I fell an oponent, you'll know it's my doing...every one of my human-victims have been left, robbed of their valuables, face down in their own blood....with no pants on. Yes...with NO pants. Thats right...I steal the pants from my fallen enemies. Not because of some fetish...not because of some inherant need to exploit people...but just because, the very thought of what becomes of those I kill in the games...makes my very name feared. And sometimes laughed at.
Call it a quirk...I'm just a loose screw lol
Dec. 25th, 2007 @ 02:17 pm
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| » A rant about...DORA! |
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My daughter watches the diego/dora shows...and I cant help but notice how impossible everything in that world is. And who the hell lets these pre-toddlers out all alone on these rescue missions, anyway?
"Do YOU see the big mountian?? where? Right behind me?" NO SHIT KIDDO! Seriouslly...how does she get herself dressed in the morning?
And NOTHING ever comes easy. Ask mr. maphow the f**k you get to grandmas house (either grsandma is a hermit and WANTS to be left alone, or dora needs to move closer) and mr. map says (being the sadist that he is) "I know how to get to grandmas house!! Wade across the Poisonous Bog, Go THROUGH the sumac plants...then across death valley on the frayed and weathered rope bridge, OVER the active volcano, THROUGH the lions den, and then, INTO the pedophiles basement-dungeon". I swear to god...does nowhere she has to ever go just include "Three blocks down, and to the right"? Jesus...
Then there's swiper the fox...who's not nearly as cunning as most foxes are...he sneaks up in his obvious "hide in the trash-can and move when they arent looking" methods. and then...SWIPES the goods!! Once he has the stolen merchandise,he throws it away!!!! That is, assuming they didnt say "NO" first and makes him slink off going "if it werent for those meddling kids"...if it werent for those meddling kids what?! You woulda had the f*cking item and thrown it like 6 inches and ran off cackling "You'll never find the Red ball in that Blueberry patch!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA F*cktard! Who the f*ck steals something by method of strong-arm robbery AND THEN JUST THROWS IT AWAY!!! I want to do that...dress up as swiper the fox, go strong-arm some ladys purse from her arm, throw it like a foot away, and say "You'll NEVER find your purse NOW!" and slink off.
"Do YOU see the ocean??" BAH!
Nov. 27th, 2007 @ 03:31 pm
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| » easy money |
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So I open up the paper today, and realized I mised out on the money-making and stress-busting opportunity of the year...the extreme fighting tourney at wash. co. park.
There were two injuries...get this: One contender (or lack thereof) slipped on a piece of ice in the locker room, rendering him unable to stand. The other, a "fighter" tried to pick up another oppnent, and shattered his ankle.
Basically, I would have been up against a guy who doesnt know his right foot from his left, and another with apparently a case of rickets or brittle bone disease.
Now, I'm no prize fighter myself, but I'm damned deadly in close-combat situations. That, coupled with the facts I have never, ever been rendered unconcious, and never ever lost a fight, would have left me taking home at least second place.
I mean, these arent professional fighters...there are west-bend area cattle...the very same fools who waste my time in the walmart self-check-out line because they cant get past the first english/espaniol question. I mean, seriouslly...slipped on a piece of ice?? God I hope they sign waivers there...I woulda killed someone lol
I would've envisioned the face of my mother-in-law on my every oponent, and plowed through the opposition like a bull in a china shop.
Instead, I was at home, watching youtube. *sigh*
Nov. 12th, 2007 @ 06:15 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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I keep dreaming of this...desolation...this...town thats falling apart.
All I know, is it is a quiet place, one I am somehow seeking refuge in, despite the condition. My only thoughts are, that I so desperately want to leave where I am, that my haste may in fact, procure my future to larger issues.
But I dont want to think like that now...I am a man capable of doing anything...we will leave here, at first chance...and I *will* make things turn out allright...no matter what the cost of self...
Nov. 12th, 2007 @ 05:34 pm
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| » Dreams...again |
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Input on these are always welcome lol
Dream one, we're looking at an old place to buy...it's a home, on top of whats left of a bar. The entire town is basically a desert ghost town...it's desolate, broken down, the buildings are in disrepair and most have been mostly destroyed. A few people remain, but overall, signs of life and almost non-exsistant.
Deam two, I'm at my moms place. Someone mentiones a storm comming. Out her picture window, it's a warm, bright day with no breeze. Suddenly, it gets dead quiet, a rumble canbe heard from the west, and the sky turns from grey, to orange, to green, do a strange black-light type color (All in under 30 seconds). Suddenly, the rumble...it gets to where you can feel it, and I look out the window, as this torrentof rain...like a tifdal wave, comes plowing across the street, and past my moms house. The whole things lasts maybe a minute, almost as if the house itself is under water By the time it's over, the wind and rain have destroyed our yard, and the better half of the home. The windows are smashed, and everything is soaked. Suddenly, I feel a presence...I look out the window, and a lioness (female lion) is walking twords our home...wet, haggard, and hungry. She looks at me, and suddenly I realize that this...creature...may in fact not be simly passing by...it's planning to come in. I go to close the windows, realizing the windows have all been blown out. The lioness enters, and realizing my limitations in a lucid dream, I know physically fending the creature off is next to impossible. but it doesnt go for me, it goes for my wife and children...so I end the dream, abruptly.
Dream three...I am on the floor with my eldest daughter (ok, so 1 and a half isnt "eldest", but oldest anyway lol) and we'r eplaying. I'm happy, she's happy...I see myself from an omnipresent perspective. AsI roll over to stand up, I notice my face...the right side is badly burnt, the skin patrially pulling off as it clings onto the carpet fibers. My right eye...it's not my eye...my eyes are blue, but this...this was a deep black, with a red glow for the iris...this seemed like an evil, under the skin. I wake up from this dream, actually screaming, clutching my face, thinking it was real.
The damned nightmares are comming back...something tells me one of my demons has grown in power...or maybe I've just grown weaker...I dunno...
Nov. 9th, 2007 @ 09:32 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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One wouldn'tthink it could be so difficult to buy a friggen house...shit, I picked out every apartmnt I ever hadby simly opening up the paper and going "here". I chose my vehicals in like...20 minutes...but a home?! really...Not that we havent FOUND one to buy...but the shit you have to go through even BEFORE you make an offer...and then to have the offer refused JUST BECAUSE SOME (off the record) DRUNKED ASS-BAG DOESNT WANT TO SELL ANYMORE!!!
It's enough to make me consider renting again.
Ive been tired latley...I sleep deeper than normal, my lucid dreaming is peaked out...but there's something I'm not seeing in these dreams...they all have certian elements in them...Other people, waiting in some line, being unfairly treated, ect. Oh, and my wife, for whatever reason. But nothing I do...be it patiently wait, or force my hand, or try to logically/emotionally/spiritually/cleverly intervene, does any good...nothing! The location changes, but it's always abuisness of some sort. It's very often a female worker, too. Just earlier, taking a nap with my daughter,I was outside of some department store, in a mall...I tried to enter, but was told to wait...aparently only one person was allowed in at a time, and my wife was waiting for me. Well, I stepped back to wait, and as such, 5 people cut in line in front of me! I tried to go again, and was again told to wait...and another person cut in front of me...so finally (in my dream, remember) I lost my patience, I stepped forward, and I was again told to wait, so I slammed the poor mall securitys head against the wall...she stood u (how??) and said "I wasnt allowed" and I just said "try and stop me, this is my world now, bitch" and sure enough, the area changed to outside of some...I dunno...dairy queen in some far off state...like wyoming. And guess what? I had to wait again! There is some underlying force that seems to want me to see something in the nothingness, some dangerous part of me, far more powerful than I've led myself to believe I've become. It's without the constraints of time and decay, and has no subelty what-so-ever...I have a feeling whatever it is I'm supposed to see, is so obvious that I havent seen it yet.
The common elements are, My wife, a computer terminal, waiting for some inconvenience, and some worker (usually a female)...always a buisness of some sort...a store, an eatery, a factory, whatever. These elements all play vital roles in the happenings of my real-life, but at the same time, besides my wife, they are all insignifigant, expendable portions that simply create a thankless diversion to my day-to-day happenings.
My only explination is that some part of my psyche is unable to proceed with some aspect of itself and now that I've taken on so many projects at once (the babies, my job(s), my ghost-hunting, and now the house-search) it's unwilling to let me move forward.
Really, I intend to take these projects down one at a time...the job, last, of course, considering the options I have set for myself, and the ghost-hunting first, since thats all set to go down on saturday! The babies are my top priority, although one I dont have access too, and the other is usually well-set anyway...the house search is a continuing effort, and will continue untill it's settled.
Tonight, however, I plan to tackle the issue another way entirely...I'll write more if what I assume will happen, in fact will (or will not). We'll see...perhaps whatever it is, that has no concern for time, can in fact be a usefull tool.
Aug. 6th, 2007 @ 08:36 pm
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| » made me smile...then raise an eyebrow O_o |
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Today, on yahoo's homepage, in the news headlines..
"Archaeologists find treasures under outhouse"
...wow....just...no....just wow....*gags* Must be a crappy job, you know? And who thinks to even look under an outhouse for...I mean....*bah* forget it.
Jul. 18th, 2007 @ 04:42 pm
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| » wow! an update!!! |
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Yes, an update...get over it.
Not much is new...I'm beginning to realize that we may have to sacrifice a dream to get another. It's a sad world, really...but doable in the long run. *sigh*
I'm excited about baby #2, but at the rate sarah is going, I'm getting really worried. She isnt handeling this pregnancy as well as the last...I'm a tadapprehensive about the future unless something changes fast.
My in-laws are driving my crazy. My MIL is a cynical person who has toxified our lives to the point we're emotionally, mentally, and physically breaking apart. I do believe it's time to leave.
Been doing alot of ghost-hunting stuff...starting to pick up finally...so much to learn...so much to see..I love it all!
I just need more sleep...sheesh...I slept 8 hours in three days...not good. I'm falling apart haha
*sigh*
Jul. 17th, 2007 @ 04:41 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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It's a girl, for those of you in the know.
Proud daddy of 2 little angel princesses :) lol
Jun. 27th, 2007 @ 05:54 pm
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| » kids... |
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So we're comming up on 11 months...1 year old next month already for Kierra! Whay still gets me, is how friggen wonderful and happy having a baby girl has made me. I love every second of it. But also how EASY it's been...sure, we have some help from grandma but hell, everything kierra does, she does on her own, with little or no intervention from us at all. She seems damned determined to do everything the big people do, and she doesnt even stop for one minute to relax...it's always "learn this" or "lets try walking again". She chases the dog and watches select TV shows, and dances to certian types of music. She has her favorite toys, and her favorite hiding places FOR them. But all this, she does herself...she occupies herself physically and mentally for probably 70% of the day it seems...
I just always imagined it being alot of WORK...when it's really become a spectator sport after the 8th month.
I cant wait for halloween this year! Kids are like anything else...two is twice as good as one! :)
Apr. 13th, 2007 @ 01:27 am
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| » An Angel!!!!!!! |
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First off, let me say this outright...God and I had a falling out a few years back...I was betrayed by my faith and left only with the trust in my knowledge of meta-physical-psionics and have since cast off any notion of "God" or "Satan" and LITERALLY filed the bible in with the rest of my fiction collection.
This morning, on my way to work, I was tired. Very, very tired. The combination of caffinee and a sick daughter and my addiction to videogames kept me awake untill 11pm nearly three nights in a row, and considering I get up at 2:45 am to go to work, fatigue was setting in finally and I was nearly spent of energy completely. But I work to support my family, so off I went anyway to go to work.
I take a road through the country...a narrow, tree-lined, high/steep ditch, hilly, and windy road laden every morning with drunks and deer. I glanced down at my clock, my CD player in it's usual-quiet-for-the-AM playing mode (playing a slow song, too) to check the time, when suddenly the forward motion of my head left me spaced out for a second or two, I began to nod off. Realising I was about to fall asleep on a potentially lethal road, my body unable to respond to my minds directives, I suddenly felt the urge to just let it all go and fall asleep, weird as that sounds.
From the corner of my eye, (right side) I saw this bright, white "Thing" sort of swoop in front of my car...at first I thought maybe a bird or plastic bag, but it ened up right on my car hood, just hovering there, and a HUMAN FACE looking me right in the eye...Long Blonde hair, glowing (but pale) white skin, and absolutely emotionless, it opened it's mouth as if it were about to scream, and suddenly I woke WAY up, screaming, looking at this object, assuming I just hit a morning jogger/drunk and probably was about to come into my windshield. This...."Thing"...."her" I suppose...her cloths were like fire...moving around like they were in a windstorm...just bright radient white, seeming more like her body was enveloped in a white flame than anything else, and suddenly, it was gone...the image...I was back on the road, slamming on the breaks, screaming like a girl, tears nearly in my eyes...I jumped out of my truck and looked around everywhere...nothing...no body, no footprints, no animal tracks, nothing on my car...nothing. I even tried to pass it off that I may have dreamt the whole thing based on seeing a plastic bag, and took out my flashlight and looked for any sign of any debres in the area...nothing at all...not on the ground not even in the trees....Just me and a dead, quiet road.
I have long passed off the thought or possibility of god or angels or whatever...but considering my wifes condition and our newborn daughter (ok, she's 10 months but still my baby-girl) I'm guessing it was a bad time to go, and I had some level of divine intervention. The kind of divine intervention that left a brown streak in my boxers, no less.
This..."vision" I guess...is as terrifying as it was comforting. All I can really recall, psychicly, is that I sensed a power greater than anything else I have ever encounterd..the government, demons, and even a warlock...nothing stands close to this things levels...it was so empowering, so humbeling, and yet, so very, very scary all at the same time...Like a mother scolding her child...that level of fearful loving authority times a thousand.
I know not the angels name, nor do I need to...I'm just grateful...changed, perhaps...but grateful for the opportunity to continue.
Mar. 14th, 2007 @ 07:13 pm
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| » It needs to be repeated |
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So we're on the topic of gays and church, due to a catholic church in town promoting that they'll accept gays into their church...
My thought (and my wifes) was "Come on in...we'll preach the word of god to you and then you'll reform and somehow be magically "cured" of this...'gayness' that has afflicted you" (which we can assume is what the churches intention really IS).
My mother in law said "Yep...thats what gays need...to go in the back room with a priest...that'll straighten their ass out".
I nearly peed my pants laughing. She didnt mean it THAT way...but still...it sounded funny.
Jan. 13th, 2007 @ 06:11 pm
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| » needs to be posted |
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Yet, I dont know why...
I was taking a nap and I just had THE most disturbing, vivid dream of my life...it started with a woman screaming...I think the name she was screaming was "Paul". Crying out to him...mayby her husband...but it wasnt her mouth...it was her mind...her soul.
The house was dark. Pictures scattered around end tables, a few dishes in the sink...raining outside...not a bad storm...just a heavy rain. A woman enteres her home, a bag of groceries among other things...drops her keys, and turns around to pick them up. Suddenly, the door slams shut, and this...shadow...is upon her, a cord around her neck...she drops what shes holding, kicks over her bag, it's contents spilling on the floor, the scuffle tramples the goods.
As this womans life is fading, I actually flash in and out, hovering around her, watching her memories go by...one by one...the happy couple being married...the park...the child...the playground...the school...her parent(s)...everything...and the whole time, this...man...is behind her, his eyes closed, his lips curled into a satisfied smile...his head tilted backward...I can see him absorbing the life and memory of this woman...
He wasnt killing her for the power rush...or to harm her...or to rob her....it wasnt from malice or hate or fear...he was literally claiming her soul.
Suddenly, this woman in in a grocery store, and then whisked into what seems like a school gym...almost a prom maybe? Paul, as I took it, was in a dense crowd, unable to rescue her, even thouh there was an open area between them, it was something he wasnt able to cross...she's up there, screaming his name...crying out...and suddenly, the killer comes across the stage, puts his arm around her, and she falls silent...her head bows down, shoulders slump in a sort of submissive way, and they walk away.
Before they leave, the killer catches my eye...a man, maybe 6 feet tall. A suit on...gray? tan? Longer light brown/dark blond hair...slicked back. Dark eyes.
It was so vivid that it ran chills up and down my whole body...I flashed back to this woman...her face bloated, her eyes had it's vessles pop and filled with blood...it looks like she bit her tounge untill it broke open...her finger marks still around where the cord was, now just a burned in line in her paleing skin.
It was so disturbing...I dont eve know what to think...it just runs chills up and down my whole body
Dec. 16th, 2006 @ 10:53 pm
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| » I'd like to know.... |
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I wanna know the population of iraq. Nary a day goes by where I dont see the headline "5/10/15/50 die in iraq from carbomb/gunmann/ect".
Considering this has been going on for what? 7 years now? 20 people a week MINIMUM...you're looking a base rate of 7280 deaths...by homicide alone. This dont count illnessess and old age.
I'm willing to wager in the past 10 years, the population is going down, and not up.
You'd think they'd notice that...and...you know...stop killing their own kind.
Or perhaps it's simply natural selection.
Dec. 9th, 2006 @ 11:50 am
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